Do Not Call My Name.

Reading through the two main meanings of Respect from the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary; the first one says: a feeling of admiration for somebody or something because of their good qualities or achievements while the other says it is a polite behaviour towards or care for somebody or something that you think is important; which means Respect is relative because: What if I do not think you are important? The Longman and other etymological variants have one or similar factoids about ‘Respect’.

From my understanding of Respect, here is one thing I am sure that respect is not. It is not bum-licking, honey-dicking or ass-kissing, it is not face-to-face pretence and back stabbing or name calling in the absence of whom the said ‘Respect is due’. Respect is not hyping or washing or massaging of anyone’s ego. Respect is not demanding or gaining bragging rights. Respect has no business with pretence or forming, it exudes genuineness and exudes it all. Respect is two sided; as they always say, it is reciprocal. To cut this long explanation short, it is not an authoritarian or top to bottom ruling system. 

One of my BFFs came visiting and we were having our girl chat and the Respect issue came up; we were on and on about the Aunties and older cousins (it was mostly a female problem but it affected some men too) we had while we were growing up, they demanded, ordered or commanded that a desired title must be added infront of their names or else, you faced the consequences (Dahn! Dahn!! Dahn!!! You fit die). I remember once when I called ‘a man’ that came visiting my Aunt by his name, I slept and woke up sore from the multiple blows and knocks I got pre and post bedtime but since that day, I have marked that the man must be a useless man for allowing that much battering because I called him by his name. Apparently, calling him by neither his name nor the battering did not make his marriage last so long. Uhuh!

Putting Aunty or Madam or its variant in front of your name does not mean I genuinely respect you and think about it like this, on the day of your birth or when your birth certificate was issued, you had no title on there. What if I nearly go 6-feet down all in the name of Respect for you and behind you, ears that hear what I say about you can tingle? Is that what you feel you truly deserve? You should also consider this, putting Aunty infront of your name should be an option that is largely open to the caller of the name and not you the owner. When I read through the Holy Books or while we are at our various places of worship, I never hear us call Supreme beings, Mr. God or Uncle Jesus even though they worth uncountable times more than any Uncles or Misters.

Dangote, Otedola, Buhari (PMB), Obama, Oprah, Mo Abudu, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mandela etc. are people that we call by their names daily as we will but nobody makes a fuss about adding titles in front of their names and I feel they know their worth (not just financial now), is above and beyond the massaging of egos. Some people possibly because of their orientation would not tolerate themselves calling people by their names but for others, that might be their comfort zone. It is trivial and does not matter much. It is not the name or title that is added to your name that gives value to life, it what you do with the name itself. It is better for a two-year old to call me by name as the Head of a Nation than for a two-year old to add Aunty because I am nagging about some so-called Respect and the value I am not adding to anyone’s life.

As human beings, we are all not perfect, focus on wrongs that should be made right and not someone calling you your name or adding a title because of the worth of yourself that only you have accumulated in your head. If you require this titleship so much and you are not getting it, it means that you are not respecting yourself enough. So, try plucking-off your horns and balancing your wings on your shoulders rather than faffing them because the level of respect you bestow unto others is the same level of respect that shall be turned over to you.

Live your Life.